Monday, August 24, 2009

Cute Kills - Short Story

Yesterday at the airport in NC, I thought I was too cute in my white capris. I walked slowly through the security equipment, crossing the threshold with my usual smug look of "toldja I was clean", when Ole Otis from Martin comes up to me talking about "Please step into the chamber right there."

I was like "whatever, Gramps", but complied nonetheless. Raised my arms...machine took a picture. Turned the other way...machine took a picture. Finally, Ole Otis puts his hand to his earpiece, then looks at me and says "Do you have something on around your waist?".

I spoke, quietly, "'s a shaper." Of course, because he's 112 years old, he says "Say what?!". So I whisper, "I have on a girdle."

This fool yells into his mic, "She clean...SHE GOT ON A GIRDLE!". I liked to fell out for dead!!!

Next, Big Boned Brenda had to pat me down. Upon finishing the pat down, perhaps sensing my humiliation and defeat, BBB says "You doing right...keep wearing it or your stomach will look like mine."

LMAO, but still trying to figure out how the damn machine detected my Spanx. Cute kills.


Anne said...

I am LMAO at my desk right now. This is classic - love it - and love that you posted about it. Seriously...still laughing.

L.Duncan said...

Girl this too funny! I can just imagine your face and how people were being nosey! too too funny!

I found your blog thru Annette's blog.

Dayka said...

as you can see, i'm all over your blog right now, but this is so funny!!!!!! that's always my worst fear. hopefully you don't have to see those people again . . . :)

Linds@ THAT'S SO CUEGLY said...

WAHAHA. That's too much! Cute does kill. Including my 4" peg heels.

Kelly @ Dare to be Domestic said...

Bless your heart - ugh the Otis comment cracked me up! Oh how I miss Martin!

Living With Lindsay said...

hahahahahaha So funny!! That's definitely something that would happen to me.