Monday, January 25, 2010

Moral Dilemma - Long Post

Yesterday at church, I was sitting on the end of a row and the rows are staggered so you don't sit right behind anyone so I had full view of the man in front of me.

I want to run down my issues with the man, who I have decided to call "Creepy McNasty", explain how I struggled to focus on church. Then drop the bomb on you with the moral dilemma.

Here goes:

Issue #1:
I noticed that Creepy McNasty damn near fell out of his seat leaning over to watch ladies walk down the aisle.

At first I was like...did he just LEAN over? Then he did it again...and again. This is when the devil started working on me LMAO

I noticed his shoes -> Light grey - like Members Only jacket grey - penny loafers *blank stare*

Issue #2:
When the minister asked us say it's good to see you to the person next to you, Mr. McNasty leaned over his left shoulder and extended his RIGHT shoulder to me *this is an important fact*

I was like "Fool, he said NEXT to you, not behind you!" I said a prayer for spiritual focus and patience so I could continue worshipping. In spite of that, I started picturing Jerome on Martin.

Issue #3:
Throughout the service, McNasty was scanning the crowd. Looking around...leaning he was looking for somebody. I think he was looking at women.

Out of the blue, he reached back to me AGAIN, saying "Hi, I'm Billy." with a dirty man's grin on his face. You KNOW I wanted to psshhhh him, don't you?!

The worst part is that I was in church so I felt guilty giving him my default name, Michelle (Annette you know that's my alter ego when we go out).

It is at this point that I started mean mugging and showing disgust on my face.

Issues #4,5, 6:
McNasty's phone starts ringing RIGHT in the middle of the call to prayer. He fumbled for a minute started pushing buttons that were audible tones, mind you, then finally put it back in his pocket.

Then imagine this happening two more times the EXACT same way. People were looking back, giving dirty looks, you name it.

I started arguing with myself to decide whether to smack him on the head or the arm. Just when I went to lift my hand to smack this clown on the left arm to tell him to turn his damn phone off...he gets up and walks out.

His left arm was bent with the fingers curled inwards AND on his right leg, he walked on his tip toe.

All I can say is I'm glad I didn't hit him or yell at him because I would have looked like the girl who mistreated the disabled guy.

I still don't think he gets a pass, do you?


Katelin & Shaun said...

Ok.... all I have to say is you are too funny:) No Creepy McNasty doesn't get a pass.

Adrianna said...

NOPE he sure doesn't get a pass! LMAO, this was to too funny. And you know when he was looking around it was just the devil trying to eye who he needs to take down next. I would've said, "I need to change seats b/c this dude is about to block me from getting my blessings today!!" Ha, let me quit lying!

Tamstyles said...

YUCK>..gross. I can just picture it. I would have been the same way.

Dayka said...

Girl, you gotta give him a pass--it's the house of the Lord!!! :)

Kindle Marie said...

I agree with Dayka, it is God's house and you let him distract time lay hands on him..Kidding!

He gets a pass...

But that was funny!